Yesterday morning I headed into Calgary and spent much of my time wandering the streets of Kensington.  First I had a lovely conversation with owner Jonathan while picking up my tea tin from The Naked Leaf (everything smells delicious in there).  I selected a grape green tea which tastes heavenly along with a cherry blossom tea chocolate (yum!) and then I meandered over to Kensington Art Supply where I spent much time browsing.  I love being surrounded by art supplies and could look at them for hours.  I enjoyed the murals and graphitti art on the street and then spent an hour at Higher Ground Cafe where I enjoyed the work of artist Deborah Catton, along with a fabulous matcha tea latte (flavoured with a touch of vanilla - extra yum!), and continued to read a book that I began some time ago which is titled 'Imagine That!' which is about connecting faith & art, something I have struggled with for some time. 

Unfortunately traditional faith doesn't tend to support visual arts the way they do music and even drama so I often have felt like a huge part of me is separated, almost amputated whenever I try to become involved in a church.  I have learned to accept roles in every other area of my life where I can contribute by utilizing this part of me that is as necessary to me as breath.  This is the only area where I don't know how I fit and it makes me sad as spirituality is a huge part of who I am.  The author of the book, Manuel Luz, makes many interesting comments in reference to any faith group who might have very strong opinions about how and when art can be considered 'religious' which is why there is such a disconnect between art & faith.  But he believes that all of the work created by a spirit-filled person is for and of God and that this connection resonates with others.  'Simply create art that is a true expression of the self.  Don't fit someone's formula; create your own. Don't aspire to fame; aspire to authentic self-expression and artistry.  Don't seek to 'evangelize'; simply and authentically share your story...We try to be true to who we are, who we are called to be.' 

I paint because I enjoy the process, need that deep meditation and prayer that I feel when I paint and am, in fact, lost and sad without it.  It gives me a place to pour out my heart and brings me the peace I so desire.  I am honoured whenever I am asked to share my work in a public forum whether it is in a facility or in print and whenever someone chooses to spend their hard-earned money to live with a piece of me in their personal space.  I am a huge advocate of living authetically which is why no single form or style of work, of sharing the work with others, or combination of any of it fits absolutely every person.  There is no marketing scheme that carries success with it.  And I dislike marketing as I am just not a saleperson.  I love to share with those who would like to be involved with what I do and have found that whenever I do the thing that calls to me, I am filled with peace and wonderful opportunities present themselves.  As I think about it, isn't that truly wonderful for each and every one of us?

I'm always asked about the paints I use - my preferred brand is Liquitex artists acrylics for a couple of reasons:

First, it doesn't seem to bother my family like other brands, unfortunately though I do love Golden colours, they seem to off gas more volatile organic compounds (VOCs).  VOCs are chemicals which are dangerous to human health and the environment and to which my family is extremely sensitive.  Pigments which colour paint are the biggest carrier of VOCs. Paints, glues and varnishes are the biggest culprits.   And many products also contain formaldehyde as a preservative. 

Second, the lids are easier to open and close and it's nice that the tubes can stand upright which means less storage required for me and a better opportunity to see the colours available on my tabouret.

My favorite all-time basic palette is titanium white, pthalo or prussian blue, napthol crimson or pyrrole red, and yellow medium azo or yellow light hansa.  I used to use cadmiums but I've read many studies on the exptreme toxicity of them (highly poison) so I've been trying to change the basic palette to something a little less toxic over the past few years.  Though I still have much to learn, and hope some day to be able to mix my own colours, something easier on the environment and on my own body.

My secondary palette consists of shades of the basic palette:  alizarin crimson (a deep, rich, transparent red), bright aqua green (a lovely turquoise), dioxazine purple (which creates lovely mauves when mixed with white), and vivid lime green.  I don't purchase orange as I prefer to mix my own and with the yellow can mix a beautiful turquoise or lime green so I don't always have that in my toolbox either.  And, it's funny, but I feel guilty using a pre-mixed purple as well but I splurge once in awhile.  I'd have to say, though, that the crimson is so beautiful that I cannot resist.  It's something I just can't mix on my own.  I was taught to use the primaries and white (no black) so, oddly enough, I still tend to stick with that - though I do vary the red, yellow or blue I purchase to create a new mix of colours. 

NOTE:  Liquitex also carries a primary colour pack called 'MIXING4' which includes yellow medium azo, pthalo blue, quinacridone crimson and titanium white and is quite economical.

It's interesting, kind of funny really, how I remember Liquitex from my childhood as they created a popular craft product known as 'liquid embroidery' which my mother tried.  I had a hard time getting over that 'craft' label when I began using these paints but have now used them happily for eight years and love their vibrancy.  I also love the richness of the pigment as I can mix them with water and glazing medium to use as liquid acrylics and they still retain their vibrancy.  I miss being able to use oils, their buttery consistency and sheen, but I've found that these acrylics allow me to fulfill my passion.  And really, what else do I need?

This morning I really enjoyed Robert Genn's newsletter in which he discusses how fickle we can be in our society - in everything, including art.  Fads come and go and come back again.  And two of the things I have learned in my twenty-five years as an artist is that...
a) it's like chasing your tail to try to figure out what's going to be the 'next best thing', and
b) it makes me terrribly unhappy when I even attempt to contemplate doing that.

I paint because I love colour and canvas.  I paint chairs and canoes because I enjoy it, because it is ingrained in my DNA.  Period.  No need to worry about what goes on outside of my happy little world.  I don't worry about marketing because I did that once upon a time and ended up wasting so much money and time and joy.  I just do what I love.  I love to paint.  I love to write about it, too.  And I know that when I follow my heart, I do connect with someone else's - and if I don't, that's okay, too, because I love what I do.  In closing his newsletter, Mr. Genn comments that 'We are what we are and we paint what we want, and when we lose sight of this we sell our souls.'  I whole-heartedly agree.  And I loved the quote he selected by Louis Armstrong, 'There is no such thing as 'on the way out' as long as you are doing something interesting.'  Amen.

This weekend the kids at the library got to try a lovely landscape painting with Char Vanderhorst, a local artist whose beautiful work is currently hanging in the library.  It's so great when they get to learn some new art tricks and each artist does bring something new.  Plus I finished the drawing for the mural on canvas for this year's Summer Reading Program in July - I always look forward to this program as the kids love painting something so large (approximately 8x4 feet) and are so proud to see the work hanging in the library the rest of the year (I'll share the unpainted canvas after I get a photo of it).  I've also planned another mural for the Program Room which we'll begin in June.

I also finished painting number twelve of the 'Sacred Vessel' series which will be exhibited in fall.  This one was such a struggle.  There were parts I absolutely loved and then others where I didn't know which direction to turn.  So it was good to have these other projects, as well as another Cloth Paper Scissors article and work to complete for a break.  I tend to leave work up to view, particularly when I am challenged by it, until I get a resolution.  And once I was able to turn back to the piece, I definitely had a lightbulb moment and the rest was effortless.  It's been interesting as the previous pieces (yes they did also have their challenging moments) were worked 2-3 paintings at a time and so it seemed that I could resolve areas in one while working on another, and this time I only worked on the single piece as I've been working on a number of other projects at the same time and it was more difficult.  So, I definitely see the value of working several pieces at once, BUT I am a person who desperately craves order so that sense of 'clutter' causes me stress.  I tend to work one piece from start to finish, I think it was ingrained into me as I grew up.  I do love the process and don't feel that it is necessary to rush anything or to push when I'm not ready, but still, prefer to complete one piece at a time.  Though I do continue to be creative in other areas such as sketching, writing and knitting so I think that also helps me to work through any difficult passages.

I also find, because I'm such an organized person ('anal' is how my husband teasingly refers to it), that working more intuitively causes me a little stress at times.  There are problems that are associated with loss of control, BUT (again) I welcome them.  I welcome the peace that comes with letting go, with knowing that I don't need to resolve everything today...or ever really.  And I have to admit that this process seems to fit the two sides of me, the one that is the moon child, the Cancer, the girl who built fairy houses in the forest, who was labelled 'daydreamer' by her teachers and the one who desperately needs order, lists, and schedules.   I am so grateful to have found work that combines it all.

PS  I saw the May/June issue of Cloth Paper Scissors with my article 'Whispers: Soul Painting' at Indigo, Chapters and Walmart in the past week - It's so exciting to see them everywhere!

The final project for SouLodge was flower essence, which is lovely, but I think I'm going to go a step further and create a body spray.  There is just something about scent that brings to mind full-blown, vibrant images of memories.  I would really like to create something to wear and to spray in my home that is non-toxic and carries with it the memory of SouLodge for me, the thing that makes me smile.  It was really incredible to delve deeper into my own soul as well as to connect with others.  Though I am sad to see it end, I feel like this is just the beginning of a new phase in my life.  It is without a doubt that I feel more grounded and, at the same time, open-minded and spiritual for having gone through this experience.  Because of this time I spent on myself, I feel more ready to accept those opportunities that present themselves in my life, not so nervous and afraid anymore.  So, in that vein, I have finally begun a newsletter which I think I might send out quarterly - something I've been asked for numerous times.  If you'd like to receive it, please feel free to send me your email address and I will be happy to add you.

And, speaking of scents, I've been enjoying a wonderful home-made Chai Latte this past week:

Boil together:
1 teabag (I use Earl Grey)
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 t ginger
1/8 t allspice (I use 2-3 cloves)
1/2 c water
1 c milk
1 T brown sugar
1 t vanilla
Optional: whipped topping + nutmeg
YUM!

The second project I'm sharing with you from SouLodge was a cuff as a reminder of our own personal strength & courage - we all have it, we just sometimes forget.  So I decided, since I love words to much, to incorporate the word 'courage' into mine, and also to make it narrower as my wrists are very small, and these days I get a little warm at times - one of the many beautiful things about womanhood ;)  I enjoyed leather stamping so much that I picked up more leather in a lighter color as I think I would like to add paint as well, since that is my greatest passion.  Plus, my daughters loved the idea, I think this would be a great project for all of us to work on together, utilizing the words or images that mean most to each of us, especially since my eldest is on the cusp of leaving for university.  A good memory and reminder, I think.

I promised I'd share some of the projects I created during SouLodge and this is the first.  We were directed to make a medicine pouch but I wanted to design something that I could wear to work as a constant reminder to slow down, to breathe, and to stop worrying...about everything.  Honestly, if someone doesn't show up for an exhibit change, then we just have bare walls for awhile, or, as happened recently, when an artist cannot make it to teach a Jr Artists class, well, then I can do it.  I guess that's the benefit of being an artist as I coordinate these programs.  I have to remember that I put the most pressure on myself to do everything perfectly and that nothing I do is life or death.  So, this was my creation...a long, dangling pendant using stones that appeal to me and a solid perfume that I made myself using beeswax, almond oil, vanilla and pomegranate.  It works wonders.  It really is quite amazing - I was quite frustrated last week and as I sat down at the desk, the scent from the locket wafted up and made me smile.  As I play with the weight of the stones while I wear it, it makes me happy.  I guess this really is my medicine pouch.

My husband and I are celebrating our 24th anniversary today and I feel so lucky.  He's known by many to be a quiet, retiring guy and yet he's one of the funniest people I know.  Laughing together so much over the years has probably been the greatest gift, throughout all those times that have been difficult and challenging.  His sense of humor is quite random and quirky...just perfect for me.  Though I never really realize how short I am until I see us together.  Here's to twenty-four incredible years and to four score and twenty-four more.

Yesterday I was treated to a day in the mountains and it was FABULOUS!  We stopped at Coffee Traders in Cochrane on the way (my absolute favorite coffee shop) for a mocha and then had a picnic and hike at Johntson Canyon.  I love the Rockies.  It was a peaceful, quiet, nature-filled day with sightings of bighorn sheep, white-tailed deer, and of course numerous birds and squirrels.  The air smells so clean and crisp and it's always a pleasure to see the towering evergreens, verdant mosses and crisp, clear water...reminds me of the north of my childhood.  I remember making fairy houses with carpets of moss underneath the drooping branches of jack pine and walls of birch bark.  Now I'm back to the computer, working on my newest article for Cloth Paper Scissors, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air at home, drinking my green tea and preparing samples for the magazine.  Yes it is fun, but it would be even better if I could do this in the mountains today.

There are so many changes taking place in my life - the opportunities I have received are amazing and, at the same time, my eldest child is leaving the country for a week, and then preparing to leave for university in three short months.  I am a homebody and nurturer so these are huge mountains to climb for me.  It's difficult to let go and yet so necessary - for both of us.  I have had many tear-filled days, of sorrow for my breaking heart and of joy for her wings.  I am so very grateful that I was blessed with another daughter who will be here for a number of years yet but I will miss my first child.  I remember when I had her, a surprise when I was near thirty years of age, as I had always been told that I would not have children.  And then I couldn't fathom how my heart would swell with love for her.  And then, six years later I was blessed with another...and I was certain this time that my heart couldn't grow, couldn't expand any more, and it did...beyond measure.  I am a grateful mother.

Here's a little peak into my contribution of Seth Apter's 'The Pulse of Mixed Media'.  I'm currently working on paintings for a solo exhibit at Inglewood Fine Arts this fall, will be hanging work at Cafe Koi in a couple of weeks, AND have been asked to write ANOTHER article for CLOTH PAPER SCISSORS!  My article which combines texture and abstract pattern titled 'WHISPERS: Soul Paintings' is in the current issue.  I've also been asked to be included in an exhibit and book about artists in their personal environments - which I am really excited about.

This week has been exhausting, and wonderful.  A new exhibit is up at the library and the statement I wrote about the artist and work has been published - I think it will receive really positive interest.  In fact, while hanging, a patron already asked about the possibility of purchasing work.  I'm always happy to direct any interest to the artists themselves and patrons really enjoy meeting the artists, as well.  I've also been asked to paint a bowl as a VIP for the Food Bank's upcoming Empty Bowls Festival which is a wonderful annual fundraiser.  I'm also looking forward to The Naked Leaf tea tin which features my canoe and should be out in a couple of weeks.  And, finally (I think), I am designing two murals for the library which are based the word 'imagine'.  The possibilities are endless.  Very fun.  Next week I'll share some of my projects from SouLodge...I feel so thankful to have had the opportunity to take part.

I wanted to share my list of gratitude for this week - a few of the things I am thankful for:
* sunny days
* homemade rhubarb crunch
* free green tea latte :)
* my happy family
* doing what I love
* meeting new and fabulous people
* my town
* bike rides
* menchie's yogurt ice cream (yum!)
* paint and canvas
* good books
* amazing friends
* blessings beyond measure