Insecurity.

Though I tend to be a fairly positive person, I've noticed that the times I am negative it is when I feel insecure.  When I doubt or question myself.  And I've also noticed that the insecurity, the doubt, the questioning, and the worry disappears when I spend time alone, painting, reading, writing.  Those are the times I can hear those stirrings in my soul - when I can hear from deep down inside of me what I need.  Those are the times I don't question myself, when I know without any doubt what I could and should be doing.  Those are the times I can live in love - with myself and others, with no need to change anyone else but accept them for who they are where they are.  Those are the times I feel peace...real, deep, abiding peace.  I really don't know why it is so hard for me to remember that. 

why do you paint
for exactly the same reason 
i breathe
that’s not an answer
there isn’t any answer
how long hasn’t there been any answer
as long as i can 
remember
and how long have you written
as long as I can
remember
i mean poetry
so do i

~e.e. cummings

On a positive note, the photo I included in the previous post was taken by my 12-year-old daughter.  She directed me like a professional photographer and I was absolutely impressed by the photo.  She captured the true me, crooked smile, moles, cowlick and all.  Makes me smile.