Unresolved Tension

Triumph / 28x28 / acrylic on canvas

In 2002 Robert Genn shared in his twice-weekly newsletter about the possibility of doing good work when dealing with unresolved tension.  He quoted William Faulkner, "People need trouble -- a little frustration to sharpen the spirit and toughen it. Artists do; I don't mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Only vegetables are happy."

At that time I responded by saying, "Being in the early stage of my career, there are always obstacles and though I've been extremely fortunate, I find I can easily concentrate on the setbacks instead of my good fortune. I often feel I cannot work under
stress - but I do believe that painting is a type of meditation and when I don't paint, my life can become  overwhelming. It's nice to know that I am not the only one who suffers self-doubt and anxiety, and it certainly puts my creative life into perspective to hear William Faulkner's words."

I don't like tension in my life.  In fact, when I don't paint for more than one day, I feel too much tension.  Restless, anxious, frutrated...I spend too much time on things that don't matter, like constantly tidying.  That is why I struggle with too much commitment.  I desperately need time in my studio.  It is definitely my sanctuary.